Sunday, March 9, 2008

What I know

Tuesday brings another appointment with Dr. H.

I've been wondering all weekend what I really want the outcome to be. I have no idea if the Letrozole is working. It's definitely not been as bad as Clomid. While I've lost my appetite, I haven't had a whole lot of nausea or pukeyness. One of the side effects of Clomid, that I hadn't really thought about before, is drying up of the cervical mucus. This can also prevent some women from becoming pregnant since the cervical mucus is needed to aid the sperm in traveling through the cervix to the uterus. I've recently discovered that's not a problem on Letrozole.

While I would love to be able to conceive on our own (with a little medicinal help), I can't help but wonder if I can really take much more. I've been very emotional this time around. Sad. Angry. Tears shed almost daily. Is this my way of letting myself know I'm at my breaking point? Is it a side effect of the drugs? I don't know.

I do know, that the more I think about things the more I know I want to be pregnant. I guess that means come Tuesday I want to be perfectly stimulated so we can move ahead and do an IUI this cycle.

So, those of you with divine powers...do your thing, please. You don't have divine powers? Fair enough...just send your positive thoughts, prayers, whatever. My ovaries need all the help they can get and me, well, I just need help in the way of love, support, and understanding.

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