Appointment update

To all my blog readers (all two of you :P) I apologize for not updating sooner.

I've been all over the map, emotionally, the past few days. I've really struggled this cycle with sadness and anger. It all came to a boil Monday night and I had myself a complete meltdown. I told Y, midst my sobs, that I just couldn't take anymore and my breaking point had been reached.

Fast forward to Tuesday. I've been really worried the Letrozole wasn't working. I use the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor to help me know when I'm ovulating. It gives readings of low, high or peak. I'd been having several days of low readings when I should have at least had a high by now. Tuesday morning I get a high and begin to feel some hope.

We head to the appointment and Dr. H, bless his soul, walks in to the room and immediately compliments "You're looking thinner!" I smile and say thanks. He asked a few questions, one of which was "Are you still losing weight?". I told him I had lost a few more pounds but nothing too major. He just smiled and said "It brings tears to my eyes to have someone finally follow my instructions and see the benefits." He asked how I did on the Letrozole to which my reply was "It was a lot better than Clomid. I just hope it works!"

I get all settled into the stirrups and in goes the dildo cam. He checked my uterine lining first. I noticed on the monitor that it didn't look like it usually did but he said it was good and thick and had the three layers it should have. On to the left ovary....lefty was usually the one to produce the dominant follicles. I watching the monitor and I'm not see much of a follicle. He finally gets a good view on one but it's rather small. Dr. H's voice sounded somewhat disappointed. I was so close to tears.

He then moved over to right ovary and things were looking up! He gets a perfect view and excitedly comments "Now THAT'S a dominant follicle!" I didn't hear the exact measurements but that one was 20-some mm in diameter. That's really huge for me! I was thrilled, he was thrilled and I'm just excited to be considered on the verge of "normal"!!

After much discussion and my admitting to Dr. H that I was rather emotionally fragile we're going ahead with an IUI this cycle. Dr. H's comment to me was "This all get rather old, huh?". He understands where I'm at and agreed we needed to maximize our chances. Insemination in no way guarantees us a pregnancy but it does increase our odds. We do have a small, 5% chance of twins. Dr. H said he had seen that smaller follicle grow and end up releasing come insemination time.

I have a trigger shot of the HCg hormone to inject late tonight. Friday morning we'll drop off the semen sample for the team to clean and select the best of the best. We'll return an hour later, at 9:45, for the actual insemination.

I can't even begin to express how much relief I feel right now. I know this may not work but to have the conception not be 100% on our shoulders is a huge relief to me. I know this whole process has been stressful but I had no idea the amount of stress I was carrying until I felt this sense of relief.

Please keep us and the medical team in your thoughts on Friday. I'll be sure to update after the insemination!!