Monday, September 20, 2010

Funk

Funk [fuhngk] noun: a dejected mood

I'm in a funk. I can't quite describe it, maybe it's more of a rut but it's one I can't seem to get out of.

I'm behind on work deadlines. I can't seem to stay caught up with everyday household stuff. Stresses are mounting and I just can't seem to get my head above water. It's affecting every aspect of my life so, really, maybe it's more of a form of depression. Whatever it is, I'm tired of it.

I'd been so good for weeks. I was getting up early every morning to use the treadmill. Said treadmill is in our garage. Our non-air conditioned garage. Have I mentioned we live in Arizona where it's still above 100 degrees in late September?? That really took some devotion on my part - it's HOT out there and would be so easy for me to say "I'll wait until it cools down." One week came along where I had a massive amount of work and a multitude of appointments and I decided to skip the workouts in favor of spending that time on work. Apparently that was mistake #1 because I haven't been back out there for a few weeks. I am so disappointed in myself.

Then there are the stresses that almost everyone is going through now: the economy, personal finances, bills, etc. Our electric bills were becoming completely astronomical. After a month of being vigilant about turning things off we weren't using and keeping an eye on how much the A/C was running, we were still having huge bills - in fact they'd increased! We called a repair service to come do a tune-up on the A/C where we discovered the whole entire system (A/C, furnace, duct work, etc) really needed to be replaced and the condenser itself was on the verge of completely dying. This happened JUST after we'd sat down with our budget trying to figure out a way to live solely off Y's salary - mine had just become too unpredictable. Talk about a huge blow - a five-figured blow to the budget.

Some days it seems like the universe is taking one giant dump on my head.

The Little Miss has been doing what every nearly two year-old will do: testing boundaries. I love that kid - love her like crazy but I've been ready to pull my hair out with her some days. She is smart but oh so stubborn. A lot like me, really and there are days I have to hand her off to her Dad and escape for a few minutes. I wish so desperately we lived closer to family who could give Y and I a night out or just drop in for a few hours to play with her or take her to the playground - anything to offer up a break. I'm astonished at the lack of community in our neighborhood.

So, I apologize, dear readers, for the lack of content lately. There are just many things I need to work through right now and get my head above water. Hopefully, soon, I can get back to regular postings. There is much to share including The Little Miss' new weekly adventure of classes at The Little Gym and a move to a "big girl" bed!

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