The Clomid Pukes Strike Again!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Y made me a very nice dinner of Kobe beef strips (like NY strips), twice baked/stuffed potato and sauteed yellow squash. It was a great meal but I started feeling nauseaous halfway through. I didn't push things and stopped when I felt like I'd be gagging.

I didn't say too much during dinner because I didn't want it to be a downer for the evening. I had been feeling pretty good for a few days so I thought the effects of the Clomid were finally wearing off. Apparently not.

I had the pleasant experience at 4:45 am of losing my entire dinner and meds I had taken that night. Ugh. I won't be having Kobe beef, or possibly steaks in general for quite some time.

Trigger: Y - 1, Me-0

Well the trigger shot is completed. I'm such a wuss though.

I had called my Mom for our weekly Sunday chat, dreading the upcoming shot the whole time. After I hung up I had stalled enough. I got the syringe from the refrigerator, used the alcohol wipe to clean the area, prepped the syringe, grabbed an inch of skin below my belly button, and panicked. I could NOT do it. My hands were shaking and I was on the verge of tears.

I told Y he had to do it because I couldn't. He took the syringe and asked "You want me to go slow or just jab it in there?" I said "Just do it...and do it fast!"

I couldn't watch the needle going in....I never can. The needle poke didn't hurt at all but it was uncomfortable when the liquid was injected. When it was all over I started crying. Seriously. I'm a wuss. Apparently my life as a heroin addict is a bust...

Overstimulated....

And no, I don't mean the economy.

My ovaries are overstimulated. Things looked good, but they were a bit too good. The insemination is a no-go. I have 4 pretty dominant follicles ready to release eggs. The largest was 16x13mm, then 15x14, 14x11, and a 13x13. We are, however, triggering with an HCg shot on Sunday just to be sure the egg(s) release so we can time things well on our own.

I have a 10% chance for triplets and a ::huge gulp:: 15-20% chance for twins. Normal rates with using Clomid are 2% for triplets and 7% for twins. Let's just say I am beyond terrified. I cannot even imagine triplets!

In other news....I'm down 15lbs from my last appointment where he weighed me in Dec. Woohoo! AND...I never, ever have to take Clomid again. I told him about my nausea and other horrid Clomid side effects and he said no more. We'll do Letrozole if needed in the future.

It's the Year of the Rat!

Happy Chinese New Year! Today's an exciting day in our house. Not only is it Chinese New year but it's Y's year! Yes, he's a rat. Does this mean we'll have a good year? I hope so! Here are a few of the qualities of a rat:

Rats are both charming and aggressive. They appear calm and well balanced on the surface,but underneath, they are restless and a little nervous. Rats are compatible,hard working, and they know how to hang on to a penny. They are never without admirers. They are very appealing.They have a bright and happy personality,and this keeps them busy socially.They love parties and other large gatherings. They like belonging to exclusive clubs and will often have a close circle of fellow conspirators.They like involvement and are very outgoing. Rats cherish friends and loved ones. For this reason,they often get entangled with others'problems and lives.

Rats love money and are quite shrewd where a buck is concerned. It is a hard task to separate Rats from their money. However, Rats can be very generous when their loved ones are concerned. Relatives are always welcome. Rats are definitely clannish and clever. With all these people around, Rats always find tasks for them to earn their keep. People will be put to work quickly in the Rat's house. Rats know how to keep a secret, if it's their own,but they are adept at finding out what others try to keep to themselves, and Rats wouldn't be above using the information if it were to their benefit.

One can always tell when Rats are upset. They become edgy,very nervous, and quite nagging. Rats are always taken by a bargain. They often buy things they don't need and tend to save everything. Souvenirs and sentimental odds and ends are found tucked away everywhere.

Since they make it a point to know everything about everybody,Rats are excellent writers. They have a good memory and are extremely inquisitive. Rats can be successful in almost everything they try to do. They easily adapt themselves to the situation at hand. They are at their best during any crisis and are great problem solvers. Rats are very level headed and are also very alert. Their intuition is strong and are always on the lookout for opportunities to better themselves. Rats seldom get into jams they can't escape since they cover themselves well in advance.They have a built in alarm system.

One of the Rat's biggest fault is that they try to do too much at once. They often scatter their energies and get nothing accomplished. Once they learn to finish what they have started,there is no stopping them from being successful. The Rat must also watch those fast deals and those great bargains. In these areas their judgment may fail them. They must not become too greedy,or they will suffer a financial blow or two.

Rats have great respect for their parents and dote on their own children. They love their home. Family life is very important to them. Rats born during the evening are tempted to a more hectic life than those born during the day.

Rats learn early, quickly, and are avid readers. They know how to express themselves well-both written and orally. Given the slightest chance, Rats can make a success of their lives.

We also find out later today if we're going ahead with the IUI this cycle. I'm hoping my ovaries have been doing their job and producing some nice size follicles. Hopefully not too many so we can move ahead!

So sick....

I feel like that girl from the Exorcist movie where her head spins round.

Apparently the fourth time on Clomid was enough for my body to retaliate and magnify the side effects by 3000%. Not only am I a complete bitch but nausea has struck! I can hardly eat anything. Food gags me as I eat, it doesn't smell good and when I do eat I end up in the bathroom a few hours later with stuff coming out of one end or the other.

If a kid doesn't come of this cycle I may just turn into that Exorcist girl in Dr. H's office. Where can I find pea soup this time of year???

Infertility wins again

We're not pregnant. Again.

I'm getting to the point I can't take much more. Y and I discussed things and while we're scared we're running out of options we're going to try for an IUI this time.

I called Dr. H's office to let them know of our decision. One of his receptionists, Joan, called back with our orders for the cycle. According to Dr. H's notes from our January 7th appointment, I was only marginally ovulating on Metformin alone. I need more help so back to Clomid since we know I do ovulate on it.

I'll go in for another ultrasound to see how my follicles look and if we can move forward with the IUI.

Life Changing Decision...

For years I've wanted to open my own photography studio. Y gave me the push and I decided to take a shot (pardon the pun) at it. Because, you know, I don't have enough on my plate as it is. I posted a query on a message board I frequent. Not only was there interest but I now have a couple of shoots scheduled!

We'll be headed to Phoenix for a couple of outdoor family shoots. I'm nervous, excited, and totally terrified to be making the leap.

I'm looking thin!

At least those are the words of my lovely RE, Dr. H! I know my clothes are fitting loosely but the scale isn't reflecting a huge loss so far.

After another view with the infamous dildo cam, I seem to be ovulating on my own with the Metformin. I had a dominant follicle on each side. We'll see what this cycle brings!

Merry Christmas!

We've had an awful Christmas vacation so far. It all started with a broken plane when leaving town. We were rebooked about 4 times. We were scheduled to leave Tucson around 10am and didn't leave until 4pm. When we were last booked for a flight, they couldn't get us all the way to Missouri that day and gave us vouchers for a hotel and meal in Dallas. We got to Dallas and when we went to retrieve our luggage that was to be checked to Dallas, there was no luggage. We wanted to go stand by on the last two flight to Missouri but had to run back through security and all the way through the terminals to get to the gate. We missed the first flight but the gate agent said there were multiple people that weren't going to make the next connection. By this point, it was 9pm and all restaurants in the terminal were closed and we hadn't had food since 11am. Of course on my new diet the snacks available in the shops were not kosher with what I was allowed to eat. After a long, frustrating wait we did make it on the last flight of the day and made it to Missouri by 11pm.

Once in the airport, we didn't have luggage which wasn't much of a surprise. I stood in line for a hour to report the missing bags then headed to my Mom's house. We got in about 1am after making a pit-stop for a midnight dinner at McDonald's. I was back up at 6am to go with my niece to her horse riding lesson. The stables are only 20 minutes from the airport so despite my lack of sleep, I needed a ride to the airport to check the first flight of the day. The luggage was there and things were looking up...or so we thought.

When we finally got back to my Mom's house and began to unpack one bag had been rummaged through and all of our stocking stuffers for the girls of the family were gone. Stolen. Some jackass went through our bags and took a ziploc full of cosmetic stuff.

I just moved up to 3 Metformin caplets a day so all this stress and crappy meals have led to a very unhappy tummy. To add to all of that, my period showed up Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas to me, right?

I suppose I should be happy and thankful that my body is working on its own and with just the Metformin. It's just hard to look on the bright side when a Christmas BFP would have meant so much to our family. It looks like I'll be seeing Dr. H as soon as we return to AZ!

HSG Day!

Today was the day!

I was supposed to arrive to the lab 30-45 minutes early. I had to take 600mg of ibuprofen an hour before the procedure and 2 Valium's about 30 minutes prior. I was feeling pretty good when it was time to head back. Y was with me since we didn't know how the Valium would affect my ability to drive home.

Dr. H was called when I was all signed in and ready to go. I stripped and put on one of those lovely "flash your ass" hospital gowns. They had me climb up on one of those big x-ray slabs and place my feet in some very awkward stirrups.

Dr. H came in and everyone was suited up with the lead vests. While he was prepping the catheter he explained that the blood work results came back and I definitely have PCOS. I'll be starting the Metformin later this week. Everything else in the blood work looked good though.

The catheter going in was a little uncomfortable but the fluid being injected did cause a fair amount of pressure. The following is confirmation of just why I love Dr. H so much:

Dr. H (as the catheter is being inserted and his head is buried in my crotch): How're you doing up there?
Me: I'm doing okay!
Dr. H (head still in my crotch but peeking over the sheet): You're going to feel some pressure as the dye is injected.
Me: Okay.
Dr. H: Still doing okay up there?

Meanwhile, I'm thinking I appreciate his concern but carrying on a conversation while his head is buried in my crotch is not the most pleasant experience.

Y was standing next to me the whole time and we both got to watch the dye go through my fallopian tubes and into my uterus. Everything looked great. There seemed to be no blockages and everything looked normal.

We'll see how I do on the Metformin since it's too late in my cycle to start any fetility meds. I'll return in January or February to see if I'm ovulating on my own or if I'll have to go back on Clomid.